Friday, 5 August 2011

A word about bush pees.

I have spent a lot of time in the last eighty odd days squatting behind something to pee. Or walking half a mile from the truck to find some cover to pee in privacy.

I have done some camping in the past and thought I knew a thing or two about not peeing on my feet. I know it is best to pee on grass and the harder the surface the more splash. I know to take slope into consideration and that a poorly placed foot acts as a dam and that ends in overflow into your shoe.

Then in the desert I learned about the wind. An errant breeze can bring wet ankles. A sudden gust can leave you soaked to your knees. You have to anticipate and pee in time with the air movement.

And then you scrabble round like a beetle with your trousers around your ankles. trying to put into practice every thing you know about slope, vegetation, wind speed and direction. All the while trying to stay out of sight of the truck and any stray boys who haven't thought through the difficulties facing someone with ladyplumbing on a bush pee.

You have to be aware of prickles. And you have to feel quite comfortable/safe to start peeing. And it is hard to pee when you are giggling. It is hard to start and it is hard to keep things running smoothly and to avoid your feet. You must pay attention to when you stop peeing. A moment of haste or inattention and you've peed on your hands.

We have got to the stage now where the girls have peed together so often that if you were to come over a likely looking hill, you'd see us lined up like frogs on a log. Not looking at eachother, but saying unlikely things and making eachother laugh.


Morag said...

I think this must be what it is ordinarily like in a boys' bathroom when they are all lined up at the urinal. It is OK to talk to each other, but not to look.

Of course, I'll never know, but that's what I guess.

Ceels said...

Yesterday we all peed behind the truck because the boys thoughtlessly went behind the only bit of cover.

You can comfortably fit two peeing girls behind the truck and we rotated umbrella holding duty. Four weeks ago I was unable to pee behind the truck because of shy bladder. Now, any chance to pee is a chance to be taken.

Morag said...

Yep, all those barriers get broken down pretty quickly, don't they?

I remember on the dig in Greece when we had to go out into the reeds on the edge of the lake to pee. The important thing there was to stomp and clap your hands before you went to scare away any spiders and snakes. Then you were to whip your trou down as quickly as possible, do the deed at lightning speed, and whisk away again.

I didn't pee between 6 am and 3 pm for almost two months.