Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: Q: What's brown and squishy and falls apart when you touch it?, A: I don't know, but I'm not eating it.
If you happen to look at the weather report in The Age for Beijing, and you notice that under weather it says 'smoke', that means that the smog is so thick that you can chew on it. Like today.
Teaching twenty-six classes seems to be all right. This morning one of the students asked me if I would help him pierce his ears. Just like mine. One of the teachers keeps asking me out on dates. Or to 'just help him with this thing', 'shall he come to my dorm?'. I don't think so.
Today, when I arrived at one class, they were still at PE and the door was locked, I couldn't be bothered standing, so I sat on the banister to wait. A bigger reaction I have never seen, as students came down the stairs or along the corridor they gasped in shock. The ones who know me asked 'Celia, what are you doing?' I don't think they would have been more astonished if I’d taken off my clothes and danced up and down the corridor in bra and knickers (okay, a little bit more). Mental note to self 'don't sit on banisters'.
And I’m tired of being stared at, it is like an itch I can’t scratch, I can feel people looking at me all the time. When I came to the internet cafe with Melinda, she couldn't believe it. She kept saying, he is looking at you, she is looking at you, he is looking at you and he said that...
Melinda lives in the foreign teachers dormitory with me. She is from Tibet and is studying English at Beijing University because she wants to go to Wellesley College in Boston. She is an odd girl, but nice. She is good to learn Chinese from because it is her second language, too, so in moments of frustration I can abuse it as much as I like. I worry for her though, I am the person she speaks the most English with, and she is picking up some of my speech patterns, the other day I distinctly heard her mutter 'ahh crap'.
Other than that all is well. I hear I missed John McCutcheon at the Folkie. I tell you, China had better deal something pretty spectacular to make up for that.
love you
ceels
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Monday, 3 August 2009
teaching my knickers to fly
Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: teaching my knickers to fly
Qantas is no longer flying to china. To catch my Qantas flight home I have to go to Hong Kong. Look Hong Kong up on a map. And where is Beijing? Irritated? What do we think? The cost of a plane ticket is half a month's salary and to take the train is thirty hours.
But now to the weather. It is warm enough to go outside in just a shirt and jeans. Soon there will be no more little kids wrapped in so many layers of clothes that they can't walk. They look like little chubby starfish. I saw one the other day fall down some stairs. It didn't feel a thing, it just lay at the bottom and waited for someone to put it back on its feet.
Soon maybe there will be some greenery. We drive past quite a lot of farmland on the way to the boarding school. The paddocks look as though nothing has ever grown in them ever. They are just dry dusty clay beds. Quite often you see sheep (and shepherds!!!) but I don't know what they eat. In fact I am not even sure they are sheep. They have really long legs and big floppy ears. Now, I know sheep. Hell, I’m even wearing a pair of sheep earrings. But these things look more like those big walking things in return of the Jedi.
Except smaller.
There are many odd things that bother me, but those sheep bother me the most. Although the trees run them a close second. The bottom three feet of all the trees on the side of the road is painted white. This is a mystery to me. The birds are starting to come back. There are some that look like mudlarks, but with really long tails and I think the other morning I saw an owl (bearing in mind that all flora/fauna is seen from a tinted bus window at 80-130 kph). And some little sparrowy things.
The most astonishing fact in my life at the moment is that (wait for it). I enjoy teaching, even the chalk. I even feel closer to the teachers from school and want to write them all letters apologising. For every thing. I was cleaning the board today and was suddenly overcome with memories of year twelve Lit, and the smell of chalk and mint chewy and cigarette smoke (the teacher snuck to his car for a ciggie every recess then chewed chewy to pretend that he didn't). That smell will always remind me of Shakespeare and Africa (A Dry White Season).
I am teaching twenty-six classes now, but they are paying me quite a bit more. I have also had an offer to teach night classes. I will wait and see.
And this weekend is the Folk Festival. It has been the hardest couple of days since I arrived at the school. I should be in Port Fairy listening fabulous music and drinking Guinness, but instead I am in China listening to EZY FM and drinking sprite. I don't even have my Pat McKernan cd to comfort me (I forgot to pack it).
Oh well, there is always next year.
love to you
ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: teaching my knickers to fly
Qantas is no longer flying to china. To catch my Qantas flight home I have to go to Hong Kong. Look Hong Kong up on a map. And where is Beijing? Irritated? What do we think? The cost of a plane ticket is half a month's salary and to take the train is thirty hours.
But now to the weather. It is warm enough to go outside in just a shirt and jeans. Soon there will be no more little kids wrapped in so many layers of clothes that they can't walk. They look like little chubby starfish. I saw one the other day fall down some stairs. It didn't feel a thing, it just lay at the bottom and waited for someone to put it back on its feet.
Soon maybe there will be some greenery. We drive past quite a lot of farmland on the way to the boarding school. The paddocks look as though nothing has ever grown in them ever. They are just dry dusty clay beds. Quite often you see sheep (and shepherds!!!) but I don't know what they eat. In fact I am not even sure they are sheep. They have really long legs and big floppy ears. Now, I know sheep. Hell, I’m even wearing a pair of sheep earrings. But these things look more like those big walking things in return of the Jedi.
Except smaller.
There are many odd things that bother me, but those sheep bother me the most. Although the trees run them a close second. The bottom three feet of all the trees on the side of the road is painted white. This is a mystery to me. The birds are starting to come back. There are some that look like mudlarks, but with really long tails and I think the other morning I saw an owl (bearing in mind that all flora/fauna is seen from a tinted bus window at 80-130 kph). And some little sparrowy things.
The most astonishing fact in my life at the moment is that (wait for it). I enjoy teaching, even the chalk. I even feel closer to the teachers from school and want to write them all letters apologising. For every thing. I was cleaning the board today and was suddenly overcome with memories of year twelve Lit, and the smell of chalk and mint chewy and cigarette smoke (the teacher snuck to his car for a ciggie every recess then chewed chewy to pretend that he didn't). That smell will always remind me of Shakespeare and Africa (A Dry White Season).
I am teaching twenty-six classes now, but they are paying me quite a bit more. I have also had an offer to teach night classes. I will wait and see.
And this weekend is the Folk Festival. It has been the hardest couple of days since I arrived at the school. I should be in Port Fairy listening fabulous music and drinking Guinness, but instead I am in China listening to EZY FM and drinking sprite. I don't even have my Pat McKernan cd to comfort me (I forgot to pack it).
Oh well, there is always next year.
love to you
ceels
Friday, 31 July 2009
rest in peace Don Bradman (and, Qantas leaves Australian girl stranded in Beijing)
Date: Sat, 3 Mar 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: rest in peace Don Bradman (and, Qantas leaves Australian girl stranded in Beijing)
I was going to joyfully tell you that it is daily warmer and now feels quite like spring. Then, last night, the wind started. It howled and moaned and banged doors and banged the corrugated iron beneath my window. It sucks moisture out of the air and freezes skin and bone. In its defence it seems to have got rid of a large amount of the dirt and rubbish, but the noise! And already there is almost more noise in this city than there is dirt. If you have music, you play it loud. A horn, you lean on it. Cars don't have suspension and the brakes don't squeak they scream. I make two trips out to the boarding school each week and at an hour each way I estimate that I will be tone deaf by April and stone deaf by June.
So, something of my weekly routine? On Monday and Tuesday I teach from 8:40 to 3:15. On Wednesday and Thursday I leave for the boarding house (read: back of beyond) at seven am and return at about six pm. On Friday I have one class at 8:40 and two at 1:40.
Breakfast: I do myself. Lunch: as soon as I know what I'm eating, I’ll let you know. And dinner is usually lunch reheated. I would cook for my self, but so far it seems too much effort for too little result, what I eat doesn't seem very important. In England they did something magic to the food so that you could eat and eat and never feel full. In China they do some thing magic so that sometimes just looking makes you feel full. Add to that the amount of stairs in my life and lack of elevators/escalators and you can understand how I am half the woman I was (as a weight loss program, China could make millions)
The teachers are very nice, the students bow to me in the corridor and run riot in the classroom (no, that is not fair, the only truly horrible ones are in the two classes on Friday afternoon.) at lunch on Monday one of the teachers (whose name I do not know) asked me what I had planned for the weekend, and when I said nothing she told me that I was going to tutor her niece who is in Senior Two. She would tell me later in the week when and were. Naturally, I hid from her for the rest of the week. Unfortunately this means I have not talked to anyone else either. Oh well, lesson learned. In future if anyone asks me what I am doing on the weekend I say 'loads'.
Actually I don't know anyone's name. So I just smile and nod and smile and nod. It doesn't matter that I don't know any names, because I don't know any Chinese either.
Anyhoo, keep up the news, I have loved hearing about everything, even the bad things.
all my love
ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: rest in peace Don Bradman (and, Qantas leaves Australian girl stranded in Beijing)
I was going to joyfully tell you that it is daily warmer and now feels quite like spring. Then, last night, the wind started. It howled and moaned and banged doors and banged the corrugated iron beneath my window. It sucks moisture out of the air and freezes skin and bone. In its defence it seems to have got rid of a large amount of the dirt and rubbish, but the noise! And already there is almost more noise in this city than there is dirt. If you have music, you play it loud. A horn, you lean on it. Cars don't have suspension and the brakes don't squeak they scream. I make two trips out to the boarding school each week and at an hour each way I estimate that I will be tone deaf by April and stone deaf by June.
So, something of my weekly routine? On Monday and Tuesday I teach from 8:40 to 3:15. On Wednesday and Thursday I leave for the boarding house (read: back of beyond) at seven am and return at about six pm. On Friday I have one class at 8:40 and two at 1:40.
Breakfast: I do myself. Lunch: as soon as I know what I'm eating, I’ll let you know. And dinner is usually lunch reheated. I would cook for my self, but so far it seems too much effort for too little result, what I eat doesn't seem very important. In England they did something magic to the food so that you could eat and eat and never feel full. In China they do some thing magic so that sometimes just looking makes you feel full. Add to that the amount of stairs in my life and lack of elevators/escalators and you can understand how I am half the woman I was (as a weight loss program, China could make millions)
The teachers are very nice, the students bow to me in the corridor and run riot in the classroom (no, that is not fair, the only truly horrible ones are in the two classes on Friday afternoon.) at lunch on Monday one of the teachers (whose name I do not know) asked me what I had planned for the weekend, and when I said nothing she told me that I was going to tutor her niece who is in Senior Two. She would tell me later in the week when and were. Naturally, I hid from her for the rest of the week. Unfortunately this means I have not talked to anyone else either. Oh well, lesson learned. In future if anyone asks me what I am doing on the weekend I say 'loads'.
Actually I don't know anyone's name. So I just smile and nod and smile and nod. It doesn't matter that I don't know any names, because I don't know any Chinese either.
Anyhoo, keep up the news, I have loved hearing about everything, even the bad things.
all my love
ceels
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
this email is yukky - you have been warned
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: this email is yukky - you have been warned
I have something to say, and it regards food.
I will not eat the head or feet of any animal. I will not eat the digestive system of any animal. I will not eat anything that has fallen on the floor (this used not to be the case, but in china there are two factors that have strongly influenced my change of opinion. I used to believe that if you dropped a biscuit on the floor you could brush it off and eat it. in china people spit on the ground, and children use the ground as a toilet.
To expand:
- the spitting involves large amounts of phlegm (also known as snot) and sounds like this: hhhkkkarrrgg-phut. Or you can use the nostril technique, where one nostril is blocked and the snot expelled from the other nostril with force. It sounds like this: phirrrnt. If not enough force is exerted the result is a large goober (phlegm gob, booger) left hanging.
- most children don't wear nappies (enter split-pants syndrome) there is a long split in the crutch of their pants and when they need to go, they squat. Where nature calls, there nature is deposited.
I will not eat anything I recognise from lunch the day before (a hang-over from the boarding house). I will not eat melon that has been cooked (it's unnatural).
If I think of anything else, I will let you know
And remember, kids, you can poo in the streets but not in the train stations.
ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: this email is yukky - you have been warned
I have something to say, and it regards food.
I will not eat the head or feet of any animal. I will not eat the digestive system of any animal. I will not eat anything that has fallen on the floor (this used not to be the case, but in china there are two factors that have strongly influenced my change of opinion. I used to believe that if you dropped a biscuit on the floor you could brush it off and eat it. in china people spit on the ground, and children use the ground as a toilet.
To expand:
- the spitting involves large amounts of phlegm (also known as snot) and sounds like this: hhhkkkarrrgg-phut. Or you can use the nostril technique, where one nostril is blocked and the snot expelled from the other nostril with force. It sounds like this: phirrrnt. If not enough force is exerted the result is a large goober (phlegm gob, booger) left hanging.
- most children don't wear nappies (enter split-pants syndrome) there is a long split in the crutch of their pants and when they need to go, they squat. Where nature calls, there nature is deposited.
I will not eat anything I recognise from lunch the day before (a hang-over from the boarding house). I will not eat melon that has been cooked (it's unnatural).
If I think of anything else, I will let you know
And remember, kids, you can poo in the streets but not in the train stations.
ceels
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
sorry
Date: Sat, 24 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: sorry
As I was trying to say, China loves Celine Dion. Unfortunately, Titanic was one of the ten foreign films the government allows to be played in China each year. Therefore, everywhere you go you hear that damn song (the muszak version)
I was watching the telly the other night (a pointless exercise as you might imagine) when I found one channel broadcasting an English version of the news and I discovered that China TV has no qualms about showing the results of accidentally driving your jeep over an anti-personnel mine. Nor what a body looks like after it has suffocated to death in a bomb blast.
I have only a very limited access to the news and much of it I am very suspicious about. Chinese reporters take great delight in making 'the west' look either sinister or foolish.
I don't know what to believe about anything. I read one article about how Australia had put the blowfly on the $50 bill because Australia is so clean now that there are no dirty places for flies to breed in, so they are cleaner, so they are now regarded in much the same light as bees. Also (and I know this can't be true) I read that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise have split. What I read about Pres. Bush is enough to put fear in anyone’s heart (but I’ve been kinda scared of him for a while). And as for Falun Gong... I don't want to think about it. Beijing is outraged that America is going to try and pass legislation against them bidding for the 2008 Olympics because of human rights violations, but they executed seven people yesterday for smuggling, "The seven were also deprived of their political rights and their personal property was confiscated".
I fixed the noise in the class by trying to teach Junior One to do the hokey pokey. They were so shocked at the idea of putting their right foot in and shaking it all about that they all just shut up. So much for the hokey pokey.
hope you're well
love ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: sorry
As I was trying to say, China loves Celine Dion. Unfortunately, Titanic was one of the ten foreign films the government allows to be played in China each year. Therefore, everywhere you go you hear that damn song (the muszak version)
I was watching the telly the other night (a pointless exercise as you might imagine) when I found one channel broadcasting an English version of the news and I discovered that China TV has no qualms about showing the results of accidentally driving your jeep over an anti-personnel mine. Nor what a body looks like after it has suffocated to death in a bomb blast.
I have only a very limited access to the news and much of it I am very suspicious about. Chinese reporters take great delight in making 'the west' look either sinister or foolish.
I don't know what to believe about anything. I read one article about how Australia had put the blowfly on the $50 bill because Australia is so clean now that there are no dirty places for flies to breed in, so they are cleaner, so they are now regarded in much the same light as bees. Also (and I know this can't be true) I read that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise have split. What I read about Pres. Bush is enough to put fear in anyone’s heart (but I’ve been kinda scared of him for a while). And as for Falun Gong... I don't want to think about it. Beijing is outraged that America is going to try and pass legislation against them bidding for the 2008 Olympics because of human rights violations, but they executed seven people yesterday for smuggling, "The seven were also deprived of their political rights and their personal property was confiscated".
I fixed the noise in the class by trying to teach Junior One to do the hokey pokey. They were so shocked at the idea of putting their right foot in and shaking it all about that they all just shut up. So much for the hokey pokey.
hope you're well
love ceels
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Monday, 16 June 2008
golden girl yearning for the moon
Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: golden girl yearning for the moon
Hi ya
According to the People's Republic of China I tested negative to Anti-HIV (ELISA) and the Syphilis Serum agglutination reaction. Also I do not have Cholera, Yellow fever, Leprosy, the Plague, Psychosis or Venereal Disease. I have however developed the distressing habit of extreme enunciation and a discernable gap between each word and the one previous. This is to say that I can no longer talk like a normal human being and sound quite the norris.
However, China's medical system is not infallible as they reported no abnormal finding of my diaphragm, and yet, I am still hiccoughing (we're going on five years now). The hospital we went to had a 'propaganda and re-education room'. I did not ask, I tried not to appear too interested.
The kids are getting better (or should that read, I am getting better). And the weather is getting daily warmer. It felt rather like a cool summer evening today (of course that was at two o'clock and I am wearing a gortex jacket, but my point is it's warmer)
love you
ceels.
From: Ceels
Subject: golden girl yearning for the moon
Hi ya
According to the People's Republic of China I tested negative to Anti-HIV (ELISA) and the Syphilis Serum agglutination reaction. Also I do not have Cholera, Yellow fever, Leprosy, the Plague, Psychosis or Venereal Disease. I have however developed the distressing habit of extreme enunciation and a discernable gap between each word and the one previous. This is to say that I can no longer talk like a normal human being and sound quite the norris.
However, China's medical system is not infallible as they reported no abnormal finding of my diaphragm, and yet, I am still hiccoughing (we're going on five years now). The hospital we went to had a 'propaganda and re-education room'. I did not ask, I tried not to appear too interested.
The kids are getting better (or should that read, I am getting better). And the weather is getting daily warmer. It felt rather like a cool summer evening today (of course that was at two o'clock and I am wearing a gortex jacket, but my point is it's warmer)
love you
ceels.
Sunday, 15 June 2008
notes from ceels's tummy: 'Ah, what was that, and how do I digest it?'
Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: notes from ceels's tummy: 'Ah, what was that, and how do I digest it?'
Y'all are lucky that the internet has not been working in this, the first week of my teaching experience. I would have SCORCHED your ears and inboxes.
The first two lessons were a hell I am surprised I survived. I was as nervous as a girl can be and they all knew it too, the little buggers. By lunchtime I was a taxi ride away from catching a plane home. But I stayed around for the lesson after lunch and it was fine, a dream by comparison.
The rest of the week has been a mixed bag. I have been lectured on the evil influences of falun gong and warned of their cunning attempts to lure foreigners with their lies and deceit. They are a cult and it is the duty of the citizens of the world to stamp out their foul blight. I have been firmly advised that Beijing must have the Olympics in 2008 because it is the greatest (and most beautiful) city in China (and therefore the world).
Can anyone give me advice on keeping a class of 40 twelve year olds quiet (short of a piece of 4 by 2)? Everybody here thinks I am very beautiful (at last!!) and I have been given a very beautiful Chinese name. Of course it did occur to me that seeing as the teachers know Chinese and I don't know Chinese it could be a completely silly-arse name and they are just telling me it is beautiful as a colossal joke.
But nobody has laughed yet.
The first bit means gold and the last bit means moon. I didn't mention certain connotations 'moon' has in Australia (bare bums out bus windows, Bert Newton, lunatics) it didn't seem appropriate.
One of the students today asked if all Australians had wet skin like mine. And I must admit I was stumped. My skin has been as dry as can be since I got here (in fact, before I started moisturising, anywhere something rubbed my skin (a fold in a sock, my thermals, my watch, my shoes) it broke through and I bled), he meant white. I tried to explain that there are many people of different backgrounds in Australia and, besides, I saw less sun than most. No joy.
So I have survived the first week, I’m feeling jovial, I’ve made some friends and I think that next week will be easier (please)
love you very much
ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: notes from ceels's tummy: 'Ah, what was that, and how do I digest it?'
Y'all are lucky that the internet has not been working in this, the first week of my teaching experience. I would have SCORCHED your ears and inboxes.
The first two lessons were a hell I am surprised I survived. I was as nervous as a girl can be and they all knew it too, the little buggers. By lunchtime I was a taxi ride away from catching a plane home. But I stayed around for the lesson after lunch and it was fine, a dream by comparison.
The rest of the week has been a mixed bag. I have been lectured on the evil influences of falun gong and warned of their cunning attempts to lure foreigners with their lies and deceit. They are a cult and it is the duty of the citizens of the world to stamp out their foul blight. I have been firmly advised that Beijing must have the Olympics in 2008 because it is the greatest (and most beautiful) city in China (and therefore the world).
Can anyone give me advice on keeping a class of 40 twelve year olds quiet (short of a piece of 4 by 2)? Everybody here thinks I am very beautiful (at last!!) and I have been given a very beautiful Chinese name. Of course it did occur to me that seeing as the teachers know Chinese and I don't know Chinese it could be a completely silly-arse name and they are just telling me it is beautiful as a colossal joke.
But nobody has laughed yet.
The first bit means gold and the last bit means moon. I didn't mention certain connotations 'moon' has in Australia (bare bums out bus windows, Bert Newton, lunatics) it didn't seem appropriate.
One of the students today asked if all Australians had wet skin like mine. And I must admit I was stumped. My skin has been as dry as can be since I got here (in fact, before I started moisturising, anywhere something rubbed my skin (a fold in a sock, my thermals, my watch, my shoes) it broke through and I bled), he meant white. I tried to explain that there are many people of different backgrounds in Australia and, besides, I saw less sun than most. No joy.
So I have survived the first week, I’m feeling jovial, I’ve made some friends and I think that next week will be easier (please)
love you very much
ceels
Saturday, 14 June 2008
I've got no shame, nobody knows my name
Date: Sat, 10 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: I've got no shame, nobody knows my name
Good morning, my name is Celia and I am here to teach you to speak English (and this is the part in my dream where I forget how to speak English and start desperately trying to remember year eleven French lessons)
My address here is:
Celia King
Foreign Teacher's Dormitory
No. 6 Xi Wai Nan Rd
Beijing
100044
I have a phone number too, but I have no idea what it is because I wrote it on a piece of paper and it has lost itself.
Nevermind, maybe the next time someone rings me I can ask them what it is.
I start teaching on Monday and I am not at all nervous (no, that is the girl at the computer next to me in blue jeans and a green shirt)
Everyone is still staring at me, I sort of thought it would stop, I don't mind though, I’d stare too.
love you
ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: I've got no shame, nobody knows my name
Good morning, my name is Celia and I am here to teach you to speak English (and this is the part in my dream where I forget how to speak English and start desperately trying to remember year eleven French lessons)
My address here is:
Celia King
Foreign Teacher's Dormitory
No. 6 Xi Wai Nan Rd
Beijing
100044
I have a phone number too, but I have no idea what it is because I wrote it on a piece of paper and it has lost itself.
Nevermind, maybe the next time someone rings me I can ask them what it is.
I start teaching on Monday and I am not at all nervous (no, that is the girl at the computer next to me in blue jeans and a green shirt)
Everyone is still staring at me, I sort of thought it would stop, I don't mind though, I’d stare too.
love you
ceels
Friday, 13 June 2008
barbarus hic ego sum qui non intelligor illis (or, when i say chicken, i don't mean bones and gizzardy bits)
Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: barbarus hic ego sum qui non intelligor illis (or, when i say chicken, i don't mean bones and gizzardy bits)
Until I left the hotel I had not realised what a buffer zone the tour was. A very large comfy fat buffer zone, available for lounging against, peering over and generally being depended on. Although this is NOT to say that it was not a good idea, it was a splendid idea. The shock of transition from hotel to teacher's dorm was scarcely a blip compared to the shock that Port Fairy in summer to foreign teacher's dorm would have been.
Half the agony was due to being in a temporary room and that it snowed for like four days. But last night I moved into treen and jamie's old room and found all the stuff they left for me (did I mention I love them?) and had a lovely night setting up a little nest for myself, fortunately there are two beds because I sat on one and it fell apart.
And today it is sunny.
I have borrowed some ideas from the people on the tour for dealing with China.
*From Bernard that the best way to clean the mud off your shoes is with a hotel toothbrush.
*From Celina that the best way to gain revenge for the spitting is audible (or (ahem) smelly) farting, apparently most Chinese people find this at least as offensive as I find the spitting (if it was just spitting I could deal with it, but the other part... oh, I can bear thinking about it.)
*I am going to apply Eric's enthusiastic dedication to trying every beer to trying the confectionery (thus far with mixed results, best to stick with Snickers).
*And from Nicky (tour leader) that there is no China induced woe that cannot be fixed with chocolate, a hot bath and an Andy Lau VCD.
It has just occurred to me that as of next week I have to start teaching people to speak English and I haven’t the faintest idea how.
love you all
ceels
From: Ceels
Subject: barbarus hic ego sum qui non intelligor illis (or, when i say chicken, i don't mean bones and gizzardy bits)
Until I left the hotel I had not realised what a buffer zone the tour was. A very large comfy fat buffer zone, available for lounging against, peering over and generally being depended on. Although this is NOT to say that it was not a good idea, it was a splendid idea. The shock of transition from hotel to teacher's dorm was scarcely a blip compared to the shock that Port Fairy in summer to foreign teacher's dorm would have been.
Half the agony was due to being in a temporary room and that it snowed for like four days. But last night I moved into treen and jamie's old room and found all the stuff they left for me (did I mention I love them?) and had a lovely night setting up a little nest for myself, fortunately there are two beds because I sat on one and it fell apart.
And today it is sunny.
I have borrowed some ideas from the people on the tour for dealing with China.
*From Bernard that the best way to clean the mud off your shoes is with a hotel toothbrush.
*From Celina that the best way to gain revenge for the spitting is audible (or (ahem) smelly) farting, apparently most Chinese people find this at least as offensive as I find the spitting (if it was just spitting I could deal with it, but the other part... oh, I can bear thinking about it.)
*I am going to apply Eric's enthusiastic dedication to trying every beer to trying the confectionery (thus far with mixed results, best to stick with Snickers).
*And from Nicky (tour leader) that there is no China induced woe that cannot be fixed with chocolate, a hot bath and an Andy Lau VCD.
It has just occurred to me that as of next week I have to start teaching people to speak English and I haven’t the faintest idea how.
love you all
ceels
A bit more -
Okay, so it is looking suspiciously like a craftroom at the moment. I am having some sort of trouble exporting photos at the moment. Tip your head.
See, a little neater, a little more furniture.
This is where the picture of Jem's room would go. If he weren't currently in it. Asleep. You know that it occurred to me that he is jetlagged, and prolly sleeping quite soundly... but where *you* would find the end result of that train of thought quite amusing, I have a suspicion that he would be creative in his revenge and so I immediately turned to thinking of innocuous things like kittens and tea. Not a bit tempted.
Less mess?
See sunny patch onna floor, ideal for basking. (Some yarn crept back in).
Still talking to you.
Bathroom taps still falling off. Toiletries still in the bath (and iron, and dish rack).
Okay, so it is looking suspiciously like a craftroom at the moment. I am having some sort of trouble exporting photos at the moment. Tip your head.
See, a little neater, a little more furniture.
This is where the picture of Jem's room would go. If he weren't currently in it. Asleep. You know that it occurred to me that he is jetlagged, and prolly sleeping quite soundly... but where *you* would find the end result of that train of thought quite amusing, I have a suspicion that he would be creative in his revenge and so I immediately turned to thinking of innocuous things like kittens and tea. Not a bit tempted.
Less mess?
See sunny patch onna floor, ideal for basking. (Some yarn crept back in).
Still talking to you.
Bathroom taps still falling off. Toiletries still in the bath (and iron, and dish rack).
Thursday, 12 June 2008
there are all these cute chinese boys in china
Date: Sun, 4 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: there are all these cute chinese boys in china
It snowed like you would not believe all last night and really really lots this morning and it is all light and fluffy like tumble dryer lint and the roads are covered in black slush and it is COLD.
From: Ceels
Subject: there are all these cute chinese boys in china
It snowed like you would not believe all last night and really really lots this morning and it is all light and fluffy like tumble dryer lint and the roads are covered in black slush and it is COLD.
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
tourism promotes prosperity and wellbeing
Date: Fri, 2 Feb 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: tourism promotes prosperity and wellbeing
My god.
I just crossed two busy roads to get to the post office (this is where the internet is) and I don't know how long I am going to survive in this country if I have to keep crossing the roads. Even if I remember which way to look when I get to the curb, I am still convinced I am going to get swiped by something coming from the other direction (which is where my brain thinks the traffic is really coming from (which it would be if everyone drove on the left (which they don't (which is confusing me)))) and traffic turning the corner has right of way no matter what. And sometimes people don't stay on their own side of the road. And sometimes they ignore the traffic lights (as a general rule of thumb, it seems, the Chinese ignore the traffic lights unless there is a policeman on the corner watching)
Sorry, I didn't mean to tell you about the traffic. I meant to tell you about how I went to the Great Wall at Simatai yesterday and it blew my mind. I have nothing much to say about the Great Wall (there is nothing much to say) but I just wanted to note that I’ve been there.
Today we found the silk market, I shopped until my money ran out, and if they'd had a place to change travellers’ cheques, I’d have shopped until they ran out too. And if they'd had a place for credit cards... I don't even want to think about it. I have never been much one for shopping, but I have reformed, all I needed was bargaining. I love to bargain. I could shop all day if I was just allowed to bargain. I limited myself to things I’d need in China for the next six months (I really need a fake pashmina, I really do).
I can't believe I was ever horrified by the idea of not paying the price that someone was asking.
c
From: Ceels
Subject: tourism promotes prosperity and wellbeing
My god.
I just crossed two busy roads to get to the post office (this is where the internet is) and I don't know how long I am going to survive in this country if I have to keep crossing the roads. Even if I remember which way to look when I get to the curb, I am still convinced I am going to get swiped by something coming from the other direction (which is where my brain thinks the traffic is really coming from (which it would be if everyone drove on the left (which they don't (which is confusing me)))) and traffic turning the corner has right of way no matter what. And sometimes people don't stay on their own side of the road. And sometimes they ignore the traffic lights (as a general rule of thumb, it seems, the Chinese ignore the traffic lights unless there is a policeman on the corner watching)
Sorry, I didn't mean to tell you about the traffic. I meant to tell you about how I went to the Great Wall at Simatai yesterday and it blew my mind. I have nothing much to say about the Great Wall (there is nothing much to say) but I just wanted to note that I’ve been there.
Today we found the silk market, I shopped until my money ran out, and if they'd had a place to change travellers’ cheques, I’d have shopped until they ran out too. And if they'd had a place for credit cards... I don't even want to think about it. I have never been much one for shopping, but I have reformed, all I needed was bargaining. I love to bargain. I could shop all day if I was just allowed to bargain. I limited myself to things I’d need in China for the next six months (I really need a fake pashmina, I really do).
I can't believe I was ever horrified by the idea of not paying the price that someone was asking.
c
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
traveller's tips, by ceels (or, "no, mum, it doesn't rain in china")
Date: Fri, 26 Jan 2001
From: Ceels
Subject: traveller's tips, by ceels (or, "no, mum, it doesn't rain in china")
Not only does it rain in china (four of the six days so far) but it snows. And if you pack toilet paper on the outside of your day pack and forget it's there, it goes mouldy (yes it does) and if you pack 'feminine hygiene' products on the outside of your suitcase, they will get wet and, well, they're not much good after that are they?
China is great. China is wet and cold and to quote a great philosopher, China is very Chinese. The food is Chinese, the supermarkets are Chinese, the language is Chinese and the traffic is Chinese.
I have decided against buying a bike in Beijing until I have had at least six months to study the traffic. We gave an English lesson on the Bund in Shanghai and one of the 'typical Shanghainese' students reckoned that if the traffic stopped in Shanghai it would stop for good, so no one stops (not for traffic lights, pedestrians, bikes/cars)
I am gradually getting used to the Chinese junk food (no tim tams, and the chocolate? I don't even want to talk about the chocolate) and I am endeavouring to reconcile myself with the lack of bread as I know it.
I have eaten loads of things the guidebooks say you shouldn't and the closest to death I have come is slipping over on the snow. I know three times as much Mandarin as when I left (thanks chris chris blair bec alex, I know that 3*0 is still zero,) and picked up a little Cantonese and Shanghainese (which I’m sure I will promptly forget).
Next stop is Xian where I am going to shop myself silly and will give you an update on some of the people in the tour (and tell you about my great plan to become a tour leader with intrepid and sail the seven seas).
loads of love
ceels (the intrepid explorer)
From: Ceels
Subject: traveller's tips, by ceels (or, "no, mum, it doesn't rain in china")
Not only does it rain in china (four of the six days so far) but it snows. And if you pack toilet paper on the outside of your day pack and forget it's there, it goes mouldy (yes it does) and if you pack 'feminine hygiene' products on the outside of your suitcase, they will get wet and, well, they're not much good after that are they?
China is great. China is wet and cold and to quote a great philosopher, China is very Chinese. The food is Chinese, the supermarkets are Chinese, the language is Chinese and the traffic is Chinese.
I have decided against buying a bike in Beijing until I have had at least six months to study the traffic. We gave an English lesson on the Bund in Shanghai and one of the 'typical Shanghainese' students reckoned that if the traffic stopped in Shanghai it would stop for good, so no one stops (not for traffic lights, pedestrians, bikes/cars)
I am gradually getting used to the Chinese junk food (no tim tams, and the chocolate? I don't even want to talk about the chocolate) and I am endeavouring to reconcile myself with the lack of bread as I know it.
I have eaten loads of things the guidebooks say you shouldn't and the closest to death I have come is slipping over on the snow. I know three times as much Mandarin as when I left (thanks chris chris blair bec alex, I know that 3*0 is still zero,) and picked up a little Cantonese and Shanghainese (which I’m sure I will promptly forget).
Next stop is Xian where I am going to shop myself silly and will give you an update on some of the people in the tour (and tell you about my great plan to become a tour leader with intrepid and sail the seven seas).
loads of love
ceels (the intrepid explorer)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)